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** Forgive me I lost a tangible run in this post, will update more correctly at a dater date.

So I'm pondering right now...looking at the emotional health of humanity.

Ok, ok, too big, the emotional health of America (at least any "well-developed" country).

I read this article on wired.com and it struck me in such a way that I'm actually at a loss for words. See, I believe that the entire race of humanity has done away with the handbasket and cashed it in for an express one way ticket to Hell. Can you blame me? Yet people find it in their hearts to care for some animal, who is one in a million, yet still unreplacable and unique as a human.



So let me wander in my mind a bit.



I believe I'm a cynical hypocritcal bastard (and I know that doesn't make it OK, Roxanne ;p) but I still feel compassion for human plights.



Or do I?



I can't tell! I hear about a cop going crazy and murdering 6 people that lived in a house cause he was angry, my response: "Cop's are bastards, that's what happens when you give them power."



Yet I showed no compassion for the dearly departed. Which I don't understand because if I see something else, at a different time, it will hurt to see them like that.



You know, a major impact for me on my empathy for people was my family. I care about them more than I do about someone in the news. Very un-Christian of me I know. Still I wouldn't want to see someone get hurt for someone's neglegence.



Let me render this hypothese: if the action is justifiable or not determines my reactions. And that's very loose.

• Someone could rag on me all day, I would probably careless

• Someone makes a rash comment about my family, I blow up


• 
  
  Anything happening to a cop, I don't care

• Any incidents that happen because OF a cop, I'm pissed.
• The rich who are greedy deserve their "just desserts"
• Though they shouldn't be treated differently
• Music & movies impact me with emotions that I can't always explain/handle
• The media makes me bitter and scorn the damned!!
• Children are nice
• Teenagers are promiscious, lying, Hitlers!!!!!!!

So I think I have my point of confliction. I'll have sympathy for the devil yet I'll cut him down here he stands.

I suppose that's the point, I'll have sympathy but expect no sympathy from me.

Boo-yah.

But me address this: the media has not molded me this way. No, they might fuel my burning apathy towards violence and what not. Nor was it video games, they only warped my preception of reality (ha!). Nope, I blame it on the male Jacobs gene. and a tinge of Latin machismo.

Let me clarify: the Jacobs men are cynical, stern, unemotional, and unaffectionate. Now holding this in, I have to make an effort in my role as a 4th generation Jacobs man so that I can show my sons I love them (but without using that word later on) and making sure my wife's attentive needs are met. Not just to meet but to show her that I do infact care.

Though it is hard and I slip from time to time I can be caring towards them. But I'll always be a grumpy, hardass that can't cry.

Take a break, you little fake - I blow brains my out, you hesitate.